When your dad and I separated – you almost age 2 – you were my sole responsibility and you depended on me solely for survival and emotional support.  Which I gave you unconditionally.

I made a plan to make my life better for me and you and left your dad.  The consequence was that I had to say good bye to the concept of “shared parenthood” and endure your Dad’s judgement of me and accept letting you go to a point.  I own thisconsequence and am sad for this, but did my best to make it the best for you.

At age 4 you had strong opinions about how my life was wrong.  You expressed hate for the “city” ( I lived in the city), which I happened to like.  You tried everything you could to come between me and any other boyfriend interest.  You did not like that I worked.  You called your step mom, “mom” and didn’t think twice about it.

I was cautious with you when we were together.  Being positive, even though your negative outlook. . . showed you the benefits of the city. . . riding bikes to get an ice cream, getting to learn how to swim in an Olympic size pool, Dave and  Busters, Aqua Golf, ESPN zone, Bowling.. . etc.  But also honed in on the fact that we could still be close despite city or country…  Camping in the living room, fish acquarium, putting together puzzels, planting a garden in the back yard, catching craw dads in Washington park, playing and swinging in the play ground…

Why you had such an adversion toward me is very questionable?  Who told you to be so opinionated?  Who told you to dislike me?  Perhaps hate me back then? . . .

All I can say, is I saw the clues that you were against me then.  That’s about it.