Mornings are the hardest.  I wake up and the first thing I think about is my loss of you, Josh.   It’s too early to numb my feelings with red wine, instead tears and sadness come.  It’s a real personal struggle and I can’t share it with anyone.  I’m pretty pitiful for sure.

I’ve lost your cute smile and sharp wit and your presence.  I’ve lost hearing about your dreams and visions.  How are you feeling and how are your doing?  What is on your mind . . .besides feeling so hurt by me?

I’ve lost an adult child and seeing you continue to grow and me continuing to learn to be a better person and mom because of you.  Do you have children?  Do you have pets?  How is your work or career going?  Where do you live?  Are you healthy and happy?  What are you worried about?

I worry about you and long for a connection.

I can’t wait for morning to turn into afternoon and hope I feel just a little bit better.