Grief – some days it’s practically gone other days is like a tsunami but it’s always here in my head, my heart, my body and being.
I grieve for you Josh. I’ve lost you and it hurts my soul. It’s not something most parents have to face, the loss of a child, especially when the child is still alive. If you had died I suppose it would feel the same. I have no hope of seeing you again or you being in my life similar to had you died.
If you had died, I suppose it may be a little different? Maybe I could connect with you on a spiritual level? or not. I don’t know. The fact of the matter is you are gone and I’m grieving the loss of you.
Mom
About Sandy
I was married at age 19 and had my son when I was 24 years old. When he was nearly 2 years old I decided to leave my husband. We had nothing in common. I was so lonely. He was an avid hunter and fisherman and while I tried to get into hunting and fishing it just was not my thing. While I was thrilled to be a mom, I spent many lonely weekends with my son.
Ironically when I separated from my husband, my husband fought for sole custody and moved my son 1,000 miles away from me. I paid child support and found ways to be with my son throughout the years. We developed a wonderful relationship and he grew into a responsible young man.
When he was 26 years old his grandfather passed away and he decided to cut me out of his life . . . I set up this website to find some type of solace and speak to my son . . .
Silence Outloud 