Author Archives: Sandy

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About Sandy

I was married at age 19 and had my son when I was 24 years old. When he was nearly 2 years old I decided to leave my husband. We had nothing in common. I was so lonely. He was an avid hunter and fisherman and while I tried to get into hunting and fishing it just was not my thing. While I was thrilled to be a mom, I spent many lonely weekends with my son. Ironically when I separated from my husband, my husband fought for sole custody and moved my son 1,000 miles away from me. I paid child support and found ways to be with my son throughout the years. We developed a wonderful relationship and he grew into a responsible young man. When he was 26 years old his grandfather passed away and he decided to cut me out of his life . . . I set up this website to find some type of solace and speak to my son . . .

My Mom Died

My mom died two months ago – July 29, 2023. I can’t believe she’s gone. I miss her so much. She asked about Josh often. “Have you heard from him?” she’d ask. “How is Josh doing?” . . .She was … Continue reading

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Before I wasn’t me today . . .

When I was me at 19 year old (picture below, not great, but the essense of a sweet not jaded 19 year old). . . I trusted everyone, loved and appreciated everyone. I was good, excellent, in school and relationships. … Continue reading

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Why?

I still don’t understand why you don’t want me in your life or you in my life? You are my only child. I see mothers and sons together on a daily basis, whether it be in a grocery store, driving … Continue reading

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In Shock

Originally posted on Silence Outloud:
Some days I’m ok.  I don’t feel sad that you don’t talk to me.  Don’t feel weepy.  In fact I have healthy and happy thoughts. Do wonder how you are and what you are doing…

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Today

Josh, my son, texted me yesterday and said I needed to apologize again for what I did when his grandfather died, and he was informed about my blog today – by a client – and not surprised but very disappointed. … Continue reading

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Another year gone by . . .

One more day left in 2021 and I have not heard a word from you or about you. I was sitting on the couch with my mother – your grandmother, Agnes – on Christmas Eve and she asked me if … Continue reading

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When?

I know some day you will come back into my life. I just wonder when? I hope you are happy and safe. I’m sending you love and light, Josh, my son. Love, Mom

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Betrayal

This email is from my narcissist sister Katie (Kathleen) written to my siblings and her children (my nieces and nephew). It’s all a big fat lie and she refuses to apologize for writing such hateful, untrue information. I did let … Continue reading

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the ebb and flow of grief

Grief – some days it’s practically gone other days is like a tsunami but it’s always here in my head, my heart, my body and being. I grieve for you Josh. I’ve lost you and it hurts my soul. It’s … Continue reading

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10 Years ago today

Ten years ago today, Josh and his girlfriend Alecia Purkey had breakfast with me at Racine’s in Denver, Colorado….I posted this picture on Facebook and one of my friends said – “it’s confirmed that boys are attracted to those that … Continue reading

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